![]() And that shift allowed my mind to become flooded with very different thoughts, ideas, and opportunities for personal growth. I started to shift my way of thinking about my hand to one of more positivity. From volleyball to bartending, I started to see themes of independence, strength and overcoming obstacles in the way of my perceived impossible. I would even position my desk/computer at an angle so that I would not be surprised by anyone coming into my office - because they might see it.Īnd yet, when I reflected back to how I actually lived my life over all those years, despite hiding my hand all the time, I began to realize that I never actually let it stop me from doing the things that I really wanted to do. I would never volunteer to present in front of a group. I never used my voice because I didn’t want people to look at me. Hiding my hand eventually caught up to me in my profession as well, and held me back from the person I did not even know I could be. Why would anyone willingly date someone who looked like me? I believed that no one would ever fall in love with me. When I WOULD let people know of my secret, they would always respond with “I had no idea! And who cares?!” I understood the sentiment. I wore baggy, long sleeved shirts and sweatshirts all the time, even at the beach, on the volleyball court and while bartending in college. I was consumed with anxiety that someone would see my hand. While I was sad when the kids teased me, sometimes I didn’t think they were wrong for doing it.Īs I grew older, my insecurities started to become a major obstacle. It was easier to feel liked right away than feeling like I was different, pitied, made fun of, or judged. Since I was young, I hid my hand because I have always wanted people to meet me, before it. I have actually never considered my hand a disability because I have not let having only two fingers on my hand stand in the way of doing something I really wanted to do … but it has definitely come with its share of insecurities. It sums up exactly how I felt when I was a child and how I feel now. When I was young, I saved this Easterseals ad from a magazine, and I have kept it ever since. ![]() Choosing a Medical Rehabilitation Provider.Choosing an Employment Services Program.Assistive Technology and Job Accommodations.Easter Seals Workforce Development Services.Services for Older Adults with Disabilities. ![]() How do I Choose an Adult Day Services Provider?.Autism Services for School-Aged Children.
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